Apr 29

“Value-for-Value” as my friend Ed Nusbaum would say… if I hadn’t already filed my taxes this year I would try this approach:

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper dated 12 November, wherein you will see that the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the “Presidential Election Fund,” as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5″ Phillips head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 for each 1.5″ Phillips head screw). One such screw is enclosed for your convenience in matching the correct type of screw.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.



note- this came on a printed page from my grandmother so I don’t know to whom it can be attributed but it’s genius. Odds of the IRS finding the humor in this…zilch. Odds of getting audited after this stunt…solid to very solid.

2 Responses to “Ballsiest idea for a tax return ever”

  1. FilSchiesty says:

    I agree…that is balsy!
    But it’s a great idea…I mean they’re giving you back your own money that they "over" taxed you.

    Mr. Jaquith has an interesting post regarding that. [<a href="http://txfx.net/2006/04/18/wake-up/">Link</a>%5D

  2. benny says:

    I have a better idea.. reverse identity fraud. Give out your social securty number to about 100,"workers" then claim fraud at the end of the year and pay nothing. w00t.

    i dont mind paying city and state tax.. but the feds arent giving much back.

    Check this out

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