Feb 20

Was hoping someone could beat mine from last night… I won’t even describe the scene as our upstairs toilet overflowed with the –ahem– “contents” of the bowl spilling over, well, yea- not good. And the water valves were rusted permanently in the on position. Oh and did I mention I was wearing flip flops? The funny thing is, as bad as it sounds, it’s still a distant second to a Mexico experience I had a few years ago. I’ll refrain from posting that one out of decency (and fear of creating the internet-wide version of the “ultimate barf-o-rama” in Stand By Me). Can anyone beat this one though? What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever had to do?

12 Responses to “What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever had to do?”

  1. Ben Bishop says:

    At least it was your own contents. The worst I experienced was after our local bushfire brigade found an overflowing sewer main in bushland while checking the aftermath of their earlier controlled burn.

    Our paths crossed as I was returning from an afternoon hike, and since I lived adjacent to the nature reserve, they asked me to notify Sydney Water.

    Four hours later, dark and pouring rain, a service crew turned up on my doorstep after having no luck finding the main.

    I lead two guys the half kilometre through bushland, in darkness and rain, to the sewer main and it was a sorry sight indeed. Raw sewerage was bubbling through the sewer cover and into the bushland. An ecological disaster. That it stunk is an understatement.

    Below was an overflow tank designed, in the event of a blockage, to hold about 2 weeks of raw waste from the 80 or so houses that fed into it.

    Given the location and conditions, they couldn’t get the truck or bulky equipment in to sort the mess out, so they resorted to hands.

    They popped the heavy sewer cover, which they got me to hold up, while the two of them fished around with the largest sticks they could find to stir up the two-week old raw goop, and I had front row seats.

    I wasn’t used to the smell like they were, so I was continually gagging on my own vomit. The acid burning my poor throat.

    Finally, at midnight, after 30 minutes of stirring the pot, halving the waste level in the tank, they were satisfied the situation was under control until they could bring in heavy equipment in daylight.

    The stench was stuck in my head for days, and even now the memory of that night puts me on the verge of gagging. The only thing that helps me sleep at night is the thought of all those baby native animals that we saved :)

  2. Sean Tierney says:

    nevermind, you win.

  3. Sean Tierney says:

    well nothing to the scale of the natural disaster you described, but i think it’s probably a close second to yours on a gag-inducing scale- i drove a group of friends down to Rocky Point in my truck over spring break a few years ago. We’re at this popular beach bar called Manny’s and there must have been 500 people packed in this place. Bathrooms in Rocky Pt. are generally sub-standard to begin with but add 500 taco-eating spring breaker Americans visiting mexico for the first time and you can imagine how those restrooms were the epicenter of Montezuma’s revenge.

    So anyways i’m behind my friend Morgan in line for the stall and he just absolutely kills it. It looked like it had been blocked up sometime that morning and collecting donations all day. Anyways he comes out with a big grin and pats me on the back. I went in just for #1, but when i untied my bathing suit i forgot that I had been carrying my keys sandwiched in front between my suit and my waist (my suit had no pockets). Sure enough they plopped directly into the sh*tstorm that was that toilet. It was our only set of keys and it had the only remote on it that would unlock and start the truck. Now had I had more time to work with I probably could have went and found some type of implement to fish around in there and extract the keys, but I figured I had about 10sec before the remote became water-logged and rendered the only vehicle we had undrivable (it had a starter kill on it). Faced with the immediate prospect of having us and my truck stuck in Mexico I chose the unthinkable. Like you, I promptly vommited.

    At least you had the consolation of saving all those native animals- I just got my own keys back. The remote did work though and we were able to leave. If the remote had failed in spite of my effort THEN i would have really felt like… yea.


  4. Ben Bishop says:

    Man, that’s pretty gross. I didn’t have to go up to the elbow in the stuff!
    It’s more Trainspotting than Stand By Me :)

  5. Ben Bishop says:

    Well, now you might as well tell us about Mexico :)

  6. Alan Rother says:

    Dude, I have the utmost respect for you. You know that. But I am never shaking your hand again…


  7. Sean Tierney says:

    hehehhheh, alan- i did the dirty work with my left, and it was 4+ yrs ago so it should be kosher. loud ‘n clear though… I’ve sterilized the flip flops from sunday as well ;-)
    see you tomorrow night at cfug

  8. Ryan says:

    Who is to say he didn’t use his left hand?

    There is a reason why the left hand is also considered ‘clumsy’ and ‘gauche’ and why some cultures dictate eating with the right and wiping with the left.

    Sadly…I am left handed, not sure what that says about me in this context.

    Main Entry: left-handed
    Part of Speech: adjective 1
    Definition: clumsy
    Synonyms: awkward, backhanded, careless, fumbling, gauche, heavy-handed, maladroit
    Source: Roget’s New Millennium? Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
    Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

  9. Sean Tierney says:

    maybe this is just the excuse i need to start rockin’ the Michael Jackson glove…


  10. Benny says:

    if you diddnt reach into that john @ mannys in rocky point. we would still be there. GOOD JOB :-D


  11. Phil says:

    This one might have you all beat.

    "A Bavarian village was flooded by liquid pig manure after a tank containing the fertilizer burst, German police said Wednesday…."


  12. Matt scheuerman says:

    Remmember the "accident" I had the other night at my house with the toilet? The excuse I had for not working on something?

    The same thing happened to me.

    Maybe it’s kinda like "the ring" and now that i’ve passed it on to you, and you’ve passed it on as well…your friends reading your blog will now have their –ahem– "contents" spilling over the side of THEIR toilets.

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